WTF???

I have been known to watch Oprah now and then- lately she has annoyed me and her topics are getting mundane and repetitive- Anyhoo---- I do recall a certain episode wherein she had these English chicks on who talked about the fact that something like 70% of women are wearing the wrong bra size and I thought- well these women must be stupid then mustn't they? Well, I must join the club of stupidity because after today I realized that I too have not been wearing the right size bra- at least for the past 5 years anyway. Yeah so I go into LaSenza (is that what it is called?) today which by the way I never go in there because to find my size bra is impossible and it just makes me feel bad about myself. But anyway I went in there to check out the sales for Pickle- they have a little girl's clothing line and Pickle is finally at the size where she can fit into their smallest size. Anyway so I go and look around and end up looking at some bras and trying a couple on but knowing full well that even though they say they are a certain size they are not- they are liars! Anyway I try on my 34DD's in about 7 different styles and have the same problem with each- my boobs are just a popping out the tops of them- the sales lady who was trying desperately to get me to come out of the change room with one of them on (are you fucken nuts?) was trying to tell me that is the way they are supposed to fit and that yes my boobs are supposed to be sitting under my chin- bras are supposed to push up don't yah know- but I don't want them to!!! My neck holds my head up just fine- I do not need my boobs to hold up my head thanks so much- anyway I look at the rack one last time before giving up as usual and leaving feeling disgusted with myself- and low and behold there sat a lonely little bra with the letter E on it- could this be? Could this be the next size up from DD? I had never seen it before- not here- not anywhere actually- and though I do not go to specialty stores ( have never even heard of one around here) it was always hard enough to find the DD size but now now here before me sits a lonely 34E - and something just told me - this is the one Jen- this is it- and so I tried it on and TAADAA! It fits! my boobs are not under my chin and they are not hopping out- that is the answer- that is it! I am not a DD I AM AN E!!! It truly never occurred to me that I could be - but in fact I must be- even those bra size calculators say I should be a DD but after trying on the E I know now where my boobies belong.... so of course that was literally the only size E they had in the entire store because otherwise I would have bought every last one of them.. yee ha!! boobies- you will have a comfortable place to hang out after all!!