Ramblings of a lonely girl...

You know when you have one of those days where you have a lump in your throat and if someone were to say anything to you whether it be "What's wrong?" or "Are you ok?" Or "Hello" you would just break down in tears? Well I am having a day like that and I have no idea why. Nothing has happened, and no, I am not coming on my period.. I am just so sad today. My heart is literally aching.. I just can't shake it. I just came back from wandering around a grocery store for 45 minutes only to walk out with a loaf of bread I didn't need. All because I didn't want to sit at home- alone.. thinking about whatever it is I am upset about which again, I really don't know... ho hum.. it's going to be a long lonely summer.

So you know how people say everything happens for a reason? Well, I don't think I really believe that to be true- and I think I have touched on this in a blog from forever ago- but anyway I do believe to a certain extent that everyone is here for a purpose- there is a reason for my being here and it is something significant. And no, by the way do I believe that the sole purpose of my being is to be a mother to these 3 babies (yes they are 7 but they are still my babies). I think I am here to be much more than that and I wish I knew what it was, I wish I aspired to be something. I know there is something greater in store for my life, our life (our meaning me and the kids of course) I really wish that there was some kind of sign- something to nudge me in the right direction.. I need something to change- everything to change- and I just need a little help getting started...

So if anyone knows something I don't- could ya please enlighten me??? Ya.. thanks so much...