MENTAL NOTE: PIZZA NOVA IS A GREAT LAXATIVE

So here it is Sunday night- well ok Monday morning really. The entire weekend passed me by in a flash and the older I get the more I truly appreciate the fact that time does most certainly fly and you better step in front of it and try and slow it down. Unfortunately, yet again- I forgot to step up- step in front- and instead stepped aside and let it go- dumbass...
So since January 1st I have been planning this diet regiment for myself, after seeing the only known photo of me since last spring and realizing that yes, in fact the camera does add 10 pounds- or was it that box of oreos I ate last night? Anyway, I have been thinking about it, and writing things down and planning on starting on this date and that date and guess what? Here it is fucken April now and I haven't done one thing about it- not made one effort to even start or change one thing to make it better . And it kills me to think that had I started in January when I intended, I would have most certainly have reached my goal already and maybe thensome- but no- 4 months into the year and I am fat sadly not PHAT BUT FUCKEN FAT and I hate myself for it...

So in relation to the above, CC is going to Hamilton tomorrow to try and get work which if he succeeds, he will have to stay there 6 days a week- now, not that I am a cold hearted bitch BUT, I have spent a little too much quality time with CC over the last 5 months and I say BUH BYE NOW. Yeah I may miss him once and a while but you know what it'll be good, oh yes it will be refreshing if you ask me- I can get back to my routine when the kids go to school and start my exercising and eating right. It's just that he sucks the life out of me- I don't feel like doing anything when he is home all he does is sit on the couch (he literally and I mean literally did that all weekend- only got up to piss) and he just makes me not want to do anything- the kids and I will be fine- we are alone even when he is here anyway the only difference will be that he won't be yelling at the kids to move away from the tv .... off you go then- go get a fucken job and let things get back to normal around here..... Oh, I am awful aren't I? I'm going to hell......