Friday, May 12, 2006

I HAVEN'T SLIT MY WRISTS.....YET

So have I told you lately that raising (alone) triplets is a daily struggle and some days (like today) I wonder how I have made it this far without being a closet drunk or that I haven't slit my wrists? Thank god for cigarettes! Sometimes I yell so loud that I get a pain in my chest- mmmm... that seems pretty bad now that I am seeing it written out. And even though I haven't succumed to it yet- I can truly see (within reason of course) child abuse.... I have had those days (and you have to and if you say you haven't you are a fucken liar- one kid or 3) that they have done something or have just gotten on your nerves so bad and they won't stop and it is all too much that you haven't wanted to just smack the shit out of them or lock them in a room for an hour just so you can breathe. Oh my aren't I venting... Anyway I am on the rag, cranky and of course when you do it alone 24/7 and never get a moment to yourself other than staying up every night until 3 or 4 a.m. just to watch a show or be at peace with yourself, it gets to the point where you just can't take it anymore... but then of course one of them says or does something and it almost refreshes you- almost gives you a do-over for the day and everything is ok again.... it just sucks doing it alone that's all. Anyway.... I'm having a "why did I marry such a lazy asshole who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself" days.... that is all......

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well congrats. By that I mean that someone has read ur blog and found it worthy to be read unlike so many sickening blogs out there just full of whatever. Yr blog is full of emotions and I like u for putting everything on the line as it should be. Go ahead girl.

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