SADNESS
Even though there is no physical possible way for me to become pregnant on my own, this past week, I was 4 days late for my period- which I never ever am. I therefore, without merit, convinced myself I was pregnant. I don't know why- I know, I know there is no way- but I still did it- and today it all came to a head when I went into Toys R US and stopped in the baby section, got a lump in my throat, exited the store immediately and sat in my car and cried for 15 minutes.....
3 comments:
I'm with you on that one cuz. Everytime I hear about those stupid sluts putting babies in freezers or throwing them out in garbage I get crazy! People like us who want a dozen and can't and people like them treating the miracle of procreation like something disposable.....I cry everytime someone at work brings in their newborns and I hold them and smell their little heads and remember when and wish I could again....life isn't fair sometimes
I know... I feel guilty sometimes because I have no right to want more but I do- I should be thankful- and I am for what I have - God knows there are so many that can never ever have one no matter what they try- but still, I long for more- maybe its cause I know I can't.. I dunno..
Did I ever tell you that I had a miscarriage when I was four months along? They were able to tell that the baby was a boy. I gave him a name and still mourn what might have been from time to time.
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