GOD I FEEL OLD

So apparently, as of today, I am exactly 12679 days old. Jesus- as if I didn't feel old enough saying I was 34......



This is just going to be a quickly post as I have major cleaning to do tonight- yes its midnight and I have only just begun. Today I decided to gut the toy shelf and take everything off of it and re-organize. But ya know when you start a big task like that and you get like right into it at first and then you loose momentum and then after a while it like Why the fuck did I start something like this? WHYYYYYY????? That's where I am right now- I got distracted while I was in prime mode- how unusual- and then we had baseball practice and then we went grocery shopping- yes, that's right me and the 3 little pigs- now that's an adventure...Anyway I got out of the mode and now I have piles of toys in the floor to put away. Incidentally, at practice tonight something odd happened- Curly was out on the field and they were doing some kind of drills and all of a sudden the couch is yelling for me and I look at Curly and his nose is just pouring blood and I mean pouring down the front of him, dripping on the ground- it was unreal. It lasted quite a while too- his shirt is done for- my shoes, covered in blood and we left a nice "crime scene" like puddle in the parking lot of the baseball field... Anyway it really bothered me, that kind of shit just doesn't seem normal to me.....
By the way the reason I have much cleaning to do is because infant development is coming here tomorrow to do the final assessment on the kids- we've had a nice lady coming since I came home with the babies- first it was every 2 weeks then every month now its every 6 months and they just check the kids are progressing well developmentally which they always have been and they used to give me tips and advice on what to do with them to get them to let's say to walk or to write you know - anyway tomorrow will be the final visit and it's kinda sad in a way- that means of course my babies are getting older and well hell, they aren't babies anymore... oh no, don't go there again.... stop it you- cut the cord already!!!

Ok one more thing before I go- now I don't know yet if I am getting it or not- but my sister got an application form for this Ontario daycare supplement thing that "all families" are supposedly going to get to either help in child care costs or to help ease the "suffering" of stay at home parents- like me who can't work because they can't afford daycare- now- here's the thing- it already pisses me off that I have 3 kids under the age of 5 and only get 130$ a month for Child tax credit when there are some who get 3-400$ a month- just because CC makes ok money- ok money is great but when you're supporting 4 other people you might as well be making the minimum and get all the benefits of GST CTB and now this daycare shit because we are no farther ahead and because they base it on last years income- well last year- up until December we had a good year but since December of last year he's been off like 5 months in total so we're fucked. Anyway if my sister doesn't qualify for it on what she makes then I certainly won't either and that is fucken bullshit if you ask me -we are just getting by- (thanks to Visa that is) and this $ would really make a difference.. anyway I fucken hate the Canadian government- unless you are a fucken immigrant or a welfare piece of shit you get nothing- you cannot get ahead because the more you make the more you take- fucken bastards....

That is all.....