THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD

Ok sorry all.. been lacking in my blogging once again and I see my last entry was before Curly's surgery and I have much to catch up on.. sorry to leave you all hanging..

Let's start with the surgery.. It was by far the hardest day for me as a mother, other than leaving all the babies at the hospital when they were born, not being able to take them home right away.. Anyway- we had to wake the poor soul up early- very early and be at the hospital at the crack of dawn. We waited in the Pead unit first and then about an hour later we were sent to wait in the surgery waiting area.. I could see Curly was a bit nervous, but I think mostly tired. He was so small looking, in his little hospital gown and all, and my stomach ached the whole time we sat there. So soon, it was his turn to go in. I couldn't go through the doors with him or wait til they put him under- they took him in a little wagon and as they walked away Curly turned back to look at me and I could see he was on the verge of tears.. I was beside myself. The surgeon told us not to go to the regular waiting area because the procedure would only be about 15 minutes so just to wait there and he would come right back out.. So fine, we sat and sat and sat some more.. I must of looked at that clock about every 30 seconds. At one point, I saw people coming in and out of the operating room he was in and I knew something was up, I felt it in my heart. We kept justifying how long it was taking by saying, oh maybe they didn't get started right away or maybe he wouldn't fall asleep- but I knew something else was up.. I started pacing, and I am sure annoying everyone there, and finally, after about an hour and 10 minutes out comes the surgeon and instead of coming up to us and talking, he motions for us to come into this office- my heart sank. So he starts out by telling us that he is ok "now" and then proceeds to tell us that they had complications and that after they did the procedure and started to sew him up, that the beeding wouldn't stop. They first tried to remove all the stitches and then try again and still it wouldn't stop. He was very concerned. He said of all the literally hundreds upon hundreds of procedures he has done like this, he has never ever seen anyone bleed so much and for so long. He said that it was about 5 minutes away from being extremely serious and that we had better get someone to check him out because he suspects he has some kind of blood disorder and that no one should beeld that much from what they did. I was horrified- my poor baby! So they then took him to recovery- and I had to go wait in another area for them to call me into the room. After about 10 mintes they did and the nurse was leading me down the hall and I could hear him crying. I stated runnning and the nurse is calling after me and I just ignored her and was running in and out of rooms trying to find the right one.. And there he was my poor little lamb- just beside himself and crying and shaking and scared and in a tremendous amount of pain. I ran to the bed and told him I was here and he just grabbed me around the neck and wouldn't let go and he was telling me "make it stop ma, make it stop" They told me that they had just given him morphine and it hadn't kicked in yet plus waking up from anesthesia is like brutal for kids so he was out of it too and confused and cold and the whole bit. So we lifted him off the bed and I sat in a rocker and we put warm blankets on him and he cried and hung on tight.. It was the worst thing ever- I felt so bad for him yet could do nothing. It was awful. So this went on for about an hour. And then I guess once the medicine really kicked in he settled a bit and we were able to bring him up to the Pead's unit for the rest of the recovery time. The doctor had since told us we would have to stay longer so they could watch him more in case he started bleeding again. So they put me in a wheelchair and he sat on me and they wheeled us up. Once we got into the room CC was allowed in and he was actually really good with him- it's weird to see him so compassionate and loving and that with them because it is so rare I guess- anyway we made him comfortable and put a movie on and got him juice and then the nurse told us besides the usual waiting time, we wouldn't be allowed to leave with him until he peed. I knew this was going to be an issue. They left the IV in as well to pump up his fluids and he didn't know that it was a needle or there would have been tears I tell you. Anyway after a while CC convinced him to try to pee- so off we go to the washroom, the first couple of time we carried him and pushed the IV cart but after that he walked. The poor baby- he was so afraid to go pee.. he knew it was going to hurt but even the nurse said it was better to get him to go now while the drugs were still in his system because the pain may not be as bad. So he tried, and he cried, and there was blood- but not a lot- it was just torture for me- there was nothing I could do to help him.. not a thing... Anyway after about 7 or 8 times to the washroom he finally peed a little and it hurt oh yes, it hurt the poor baby but he did it and soon after we were allowed to go home. when we got home I had to go right away and get him some pain killers and special cream so CC and his dad stayed home and I went with the MIL. Uggggg she drives me nuts.. Anyway, get back and have to pick up the other 2 from school- the whole class had made Curly get better cards and Little Man says to Curly "You are famous! look at all the mail you got!" The reunion was quite endearing- and of course the drama just spilled out of Pickle... " is he going to be ok? Is he bleeding? Does it hurt? Will he die?" and on and on... So we set him up in his room- videos and video games and he seemed quite comfortable for the most part- but when it was time to pee- that was another story.. it was awful, grueling.. terribly sad because it hurt him so much and he knew it was going to - and he would hold it as long as he could- but eventually he would have to and it was just heart breaking. CC when he was home would go in with him and was really good about it- one night I hear Curly saying to CC: "Dad, I wish you could change penis' with me. " Just heart breaking.. Anyway we had some scary moments after we got home like the fact that his pee was coming out harder and thicker yes, but like a sprinkler- seriously- for a week I would go into the washroom with him and put a toilet paper roll over it so it wouldn't spray all over the walls or him every time he peed. So it was a tough couple of weeks- I am happy to report that as of right now today- it looks so much better and he is peeing, for the most part straight with not much spray- I think that once the rest of the stitches dissolve, that will solve that problem. He is quite happy though that for the first time in his life he can "pee like a racehorse".